This post was delivered to my inbox today from a blog I follow call Surviving Infertility. The title of the article is “I Will Never Forget”… It’s a concept that I have often thought about over the last 2 years- will I forget this terrible pain that I’m experiencing now? Will it be overriden by the joy of a little one in my arms?
I saw a quote the other day that read something along the lines of “To suffer is to be human.” The fact that so many of my IF sisters are marred by their journeys is something I find to be complete unfair and yet, I find the strength that we have gained from it to be one of the most beautiful and empowering emotions that I have ever experienced.
As I make my way through my second round of IVF, I will say that, though I obviously wish that I never had to experience it in the first place, I am proud of the pain that I have experienced. I will wear it like a badge for the rest of my life. Without it, I might have never known how incredibly strong I could be and for that, I am grateful.
Although we have finally made it to a point in our pregnancy where we are very hopeful we will bring our rainbow baby home, it doesnt mean I will ever forget.
I’ll never forget the sleepless nights dreaming of what it would be like to become pregnant and watch my belly grow. To feel life inside of me.
I’ll never forget the desperation every month to see 2 pink lines. The timed intercourse over & over again, the old wives tales I held on to, organic foods I stuffed myself with, and the vitamins I overdosed with time & time again.
I’ll never forget the disappointment and heartache month after month when it never happened on its own. Ever.
I’ll never forget how scary every single treatment I had was. Every shot, ultrasound, IV of anesthesia, blood draw, d & c, egg retrieval, fibroid removal, hysteroscopy, HSG, tube removal, MRI…
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