This morning I started birth control pills in preparation for round 2 of IVF. Cycle day 1 wound up being Saturday so not really even much time to recover from the blow that was our first cycle being a failure. We both had a really rough weekend but luckily we were able to spend the entire time wrapped up in each other and remember what an amazing week it had been.
As part of my healing process, I decided to get a tattoo on Sunday:
I got this to remind myself that I am a warrior- that if I get pulled back, it is only to be shot forward. The symbol in the middle is the Viking Rune “Inguz” which stands for fertility, gestation and internal growth- an homage to this journey that has shaped the person I a today but will not define me. I am beyond thrilled with it and I did feel like a tiny weight was lifted off my shoulders after getting it.
The RE I started this whole journey with actually left the clinic on Monday to start her own. After careful thought, we decided not to follow her but to remain at our current clinic and switch doctors. Unfortunately, my old RE didn’t even know whether or not her new clinic would be accepting our insurance by the time she left and would be the only RE there. That really worried me because a. We have amazing coverage for our infertility services so insurance is a must and b. I’d heard that many smaller clinics start all of their IVF cycles at the same time so everyone is “synced”. With her being the only doctor, I was afraid that may be the case, not to mention if she decided to go on vacation. Now I’m not saying that there’s necessarily anything wrong with syncing cycles, however, I would like to think that my doctor would take a more individualized approach and I’m not sure if that could be the case with only one doctor in the office. Our current clinic also offers more “amenities” and support services and I’ve grown to really love the staff there. Seeing the same familiar faces every week somehow makes this whole thing a little easier and, call me crazy, but I was really sad at the thought of leaving them. So on Monday I called and scheduled an appointment with one of the (several) other REs. August 15th is the big day!
I have a whole host of questions for him (I might do another post on that?) and am trying to prepare while simultaneously taking it easy/not focusing on TTC for a little while. More easily said then done. I had a baseline monitoring appointment on Tuesday which went well- my hormone levels are all in line, nothing leftover to be worried about. I actually felt a lot more emotional than I thought I would going to the appointment. I had hoped that the next time I came back would be to see my little one on the ultrasound not a bunch of little follicles. But things don’t always work out as we planned. I kept trying to remind myself that there is a good chance that one day we will be back there and we WILL hear good news.
Until then, I guess I’ll be eating pineapple cores and drinking raspberry tea every day. 😉