You don’t marry someone you can live with- you marry the person who you cannot live without.
Never one to rely on others for me to make my next move, I have always been fiercely independent. Goal- oriented, go-getter, whatever you want to call it, marriage/kids/growing old with someone was always part of the plan just not something I saw in my immediate future.
I wanted a career- “What’s next?” the question driving my being. Always struggling to find exactly what it was I wanted but nevertheless breaking a path to it. Constantly in motion.
And then I met him.
And suddenly none of that seemed to matter.
Lazy days spent wrapped up in his arms, in a haze of adoration and delightful ease- I wanted nothing more. 4 years later and he is my world, my everything.
O don’t get me wrong. I am still quite successful for someone my age. Youngest supervisor at the company with aspirations of rising quickly through the ranks. But it’s not priority number one like it might have been. And I am more than ok with that for someone who took great pride in her “Most Likely to Succeed” superlative.
We are young. “You have time”, “Wait to (fill in the blank)”, “30 things to do before you settle down!” being thrown my/our way from every angle.
And why? The greatest decision I have ever made was to say I do at barely 24, and when I hear these kinds of sentiments, they bother me. I’m not saying that getting married young is the right decision for everyone. We are, as I often like to remind my friends, “the exception”, not the rule. But hear me out, I would argue- that if you are with the person you know you are going to want to be with for the rest of your life- that there is no point in waiting years to get to that point.
A lot of the articles and posts that I read about things you should accomplish before “tying the knot” fail to realize that all of those things can still be done afterwards too. (*Ok, maybe not all of them, like ‘having a one night stand’ but the majority of them.) Why can’t I still establish an awesome career for myself while being young and married- Now I get to do it with my best friend! How FREAKING AWESOME is that?! Every step of the way, career related or not, I’ll have a shoulder to cry on and a fist to pound in celebration of victory. And I am here to provide support of that kind for someone else. I don’t think there is anything in the world that could bring us closer as a couple than, quite simply, growing up together. It’s not just about growing old together and making it through the traditional milestones of being a married couple (kids, house, etc). It is about bonding to someone so thoroughly, so completely, that the thought of living without them is not even a thought. The question “What is best for me?” forever becomes “What is best for us?”
Here I sit today, navigating a fulfilling career and my first year as a Mrs and, sure, it has been overwhelming, and full of it’s own set of challenges. I had to “re-find” myself and define how I can still be me as part of an entity- all just a short time after figuring out and being comfortable with who I am myself. Sometimes, I still question whether the actions I take are better for me or better for us and I still need that occasional bit of independence. I still crave alone time and time out with my friends- and we both get that time. It’s all about striking a balance between married life and being friends and I think that applies most when you are married young. And at the end of the day, I get to lay down next to him and know that I am safe right here, whatever decisions I make. And THAT I would not change for anything.